Home and Soul

I left my desk in Lowe's Receiving, and went to find a cart out on the sales floor. Instead, I found a man who was looking for a folding table. To sleep on. He said something about having a van, on top of which he wanted to set up a sleeping platform 30” tall, and which he could keep his things under. Sounded dangerous for a man who seemed to be over 60. He had a slightly-perceptable, ambiguous accent. South African? Maybe New Zealand?

I found a table I thought might work, but he said it was not long enough for his body. I asked whether this was for camping over the summer, or if it’s a lifestyle housing arrangement. He shook his head warily and talked about the price of motels. “I’m trying to find what I need for my van because I’ve been told that in two days I’ll have to move.” His face expressed a dubious sense of almost breaking social rules. He said the U.S. has the most expensive prices for a one night stay at a motel.

Then he started naming nightly pricing around India, Vietnam, and Laos. He went from there, talking about Australia and how it has the hospitable edges on the south and east, but was otherwise difficult in the middle.  

I then asked whether he has been “everywhere,” and he said “no,” but when I said, “Why are you in the expensive U.S. when you could be affording to stay in India?” He side-eyed me briefly, wondering whether I would handle the next layer of conversation.

He started talking about the eastern European places he’s spent time in, and the strife they’ve seen.

“I go to these places that have had a lot of bloodshed, and I pray among the people so they might heal.”

He went on to explain the familiar case of the U.S. and its inner clashing, but used that as a foundation for his focus on the indigenous peoples of this land. Their history holds copious amounts of bloodshed due to the European occupation that took over the land they respect and lived in harmony with. He asked me whether I’ve seen the movie, “The Last of the Mohicans.” He was drawn to that story and that cause, so has been focusing on living in the U.S. areas of conflict and bloodshed so that he can pray for the Native Americans to heal, and for the european descendants to find harmony and acceptance. 

He explained that, “Just as Jesus gave up his blood for our healing, the blood that has been shed by our ancestors can be shed for the healing of their descendants.” - As long as he prays that blood into action, like a spoon stirring the cause of the bloodshed into a positive essence. 

I asked him, “I know you can’t see the effect, but do you feel that your efforts are making a difference?”

He said yes, he did. He feels that everything clicks in the places where he’s helping, and where he is accosted on the street or gets physically hurt, he feels that his prayers are being shoved away, so he leaves.

He quoted something from the Bible during his tale of being in the east. His talk about God and the quote from the Bible made me realize he has a history in Faith. I felt that he could wield the words of God like a master whittler who can make a plain block of wood look precisely like what the viewer needs to see. 

I admit that I am not Christian, but I did believe everything this man was saying. It rang true because I believe in the power of God. I believe in prayer through whatever positive life energy that drives you, whether it is God or The Goddess, Allah, Brahma, or the un-named essence of Life among us. This man had found - or been given - a purpose, and was moving forward with it in the places where people’s spirits have seen strife in bloodshed so that he could give that bloodshed purpose rather than it being a blight on the history of the people.

I spent too much working time listening to him, and the task I was trying to accomplish sat waiting for me in the back of the store. When his telling had a pause, I said, “Well, I hope you find what you need in order to do what you’re doing. It sounds as though you’re doing it right.” He thanked me.

Since he hadn’t found what he needed, I directed him toward a nearby camping store to see whether they have the table/bed he was looking for. I went back to my “it will do for now” job I’ve been at for 9 years. Later I retreated to my townhouse that has doors, locks, a shower and a stove, a bed, television, and food. My soul remains dormant and thin. This man went to find a table for a bed before heading to his home that is a van, so he can move out to an unknown destination, pursuing a purpose solely through faith, which keeps his soul pure and shining. Even if I didn’t believe in what he was telling me, he spoke in a way that showed me that he knew where his faith wanted him to be. 

I hope to feel that someday.